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Jan. 18th, 2005 @ 11:44 pm The past was a blast
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swimpunx
foobarintel:
Current Music: Gin Blossoms - Blue Eyes Bleeding (Demo)

To commemorate the moving of TheGuyInTheCorner I've decided to post a few of our more classy posts from years past:

Why didn't we think of this? I'm working on a reality show where people who enjoy reality shows are dragged into a room and beaten. Not horribly beaten, just enough to leave a mark or two. Oh, and we can add a twist! They think that they're getting $1,000,000, and we can stick them with $1. That's enough to excite the nation.
Posted by Halkuon at May 20, 2004 11:53 AM

September 11, 2001 was a day of horrible tragedy. So, three years later, we decide that perhaps we should formally investigate the reasons why we were attacked, and try to point fingers. Why? Do we really need this? Is this commission really accomplishing anything? Is knowing whether someone goofed, and who it was, really going to do something? It's not going to bring people back to life, and I'm fairly certain it won't change the way the government runs itself. If we're going to comprimise the integrity of our leadership, shouldn't it be done in a more constructive manner? We should either conduct an investigation that would lead to someone being punished (though I don't think this would be that great either, at least we would get some kind of results) or an investigation into how prepared we are now, and what measures we can take to prevent further attacks. I know it's pretty fun to point fingers, but I don't think this is very meaningful. But hey, if it's something to hurt Bush's campaign, I can't say that I'm entirely against it.

On a completely different note, I saw the trailer for the Garfield Movie, and I am much displeased. If someone is going to make a Garfield movie, make it about the cat, or the damned president. This movie takes the blissfully lazy cartoon cat, transmutes him into a dancing, fast action feline, thus destroying everything for which Jim Davis' character has stood.

And on a final note, today is Easter. Easter, the best example that Christianity has lost its mind. So when you're sitting around with relatives, feasting and trying to find candy stowed in plastic eggs, play a fun game: "What the hell are we doing here?" Sometimes I follow that up with a rousing game of, "Does this have meaning anymore?"

Enjoy!

"The church is always trying to get other people to reform; it might not be a bad idea to reform itself a little, by way of example."
- Mark Twain, A Tramp Abroad

Posted by Halkuon at April 11, 2004 11:59 AM

Let me thank a Mr Zach R., no no no, thats too obvious, Mr. Z. Rankin, for sharing this story with me.

A Charlotte, NC, lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, then insured them against fire among other things. Within a month having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first premium payment on the policy, the lawyer filed claim against the insurance company. In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost "in a series of small fires."

The insurance company refused to pay, citing the obvious reason: that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyer sued....and won! In delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless, that the lawyer held a policy from the company in which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable fire," and was obligated to pay the claim. Rather than endure a lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000.00 to the lawyer for his loss of the rare cigars lost in the "fires."

NOW FOR THE BEST PART... After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!!! With his own insurance claim and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000.00 fine. This is a true story and was the 1st place winner in the recent Criminal Lawyers Award Contest.

Posted by MagnumXL at March 2, 2004 12:07 PM